Elwood couldn’t believe it. I mean of all the dirty no good things to do, Tera did that. The guy worked in a stationary store for God sakes! He sold dainty cards and pink inked pens and wedding envelopes to little ladies. He sold origami paper and rubber stamps. What on Earth did Tera see in him? He scrapbooked and had fun scissors in an apron every day at work. To sleep with that guy when she was HIS girlfriend was dirty. No good.
And who was Elwood? Just the Database Technician for one of the most prestigious sporting goods manufacturers in the state, that’s who. They sent baseballs to Kentucky. They sent racquetball rackets to Michigan. They sent shuttlecocks, too. They were a big company, a multi-million dollar company and he, Elwood, had his hands on the pulse of all the action, through the computers, mainframes, databases, that kind of thing. He was proud of his job and why not. He made good money, was certified in a host of applications, and had a cool ID card that he hung on his neck. He also got, as a perk for working there, courtside seats to the NBA games that played in the arena. He liked basketball and so that was a good perk, that and the cool ID card.
So, knowing something about computers and knowing that his girlfriend had just slept with a stationary worker, he knew he couldn’t sit idly by and watch that kind of thing happen. Oh no. So he fumed and thought of revenge there in his cubicle, a poster of Picabo Street above him, skiing her way to victory.
Tera was a digital photographer. She took pictures of babies and old people and families who wanted a framed photo to send to other family members at Christmas, or Hanukah, or Kwanzaa. She was good at it. She had a studio in her house. Her specialty was nude shots. They were very tasteful and the people who posed for her always said that she made them feel good about themselves, their bodies.
He was going to send her a virus. A bad one. That would wipe out her hard drive, would delete all of her work she saved on it. Yes, he’d show her a thing or two about messing with a database technician. A good one. One with a poster of Picabo Street skiing her way to victory.
In an email he said, “I’m sorry we’re having a rough spot. Please open this photo and remember how good it was.” When she opened it she’d get that virus and everyone would be lost. Lost! He smiled at the thought of that as he hit the send button after fashioning a particularly nasty virus he entitled “Stationary Sucker.”
”Take that,” he said. “You shouldn’t have messed with me, Tera.” He grumbled.
He stood up to go the bathroom after sending the email to Tera for cheating on him and got a particularly bad burning sensation when he urinated.
Jonathan Shipley blogs here.
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